What Lies Beneath the Surface

Hi friends,

As I mentioned in my last post,But let's take a deeper dive into how the Yamas relate in more subtle ways to our thought world, where the Brain Bitch lives.

The first of the 8 Limbs of Yoga that Patanjali gives us is the Yamas. The five Yamas are considered morals and restraints, and they are:

·      Non-Violence

·      Truthfulness

·      Non-Stealing

·      Non-Excess

·      Non-Possessiveness

It’s easy to glance at this list and think you have it mastered. I did. I thought to myself, I’m definitely not violent by nature, I value honesty and rarely lie, I don’t steal from stores or people, I’m not a hoarder, and I’m not overly jealous or controlling. 

But let's take a deeper dive into how the Yamas relate in more subtle ways to our thought world, where the Brain Bitch lives.

Non-violence

When we see or hear the word Non-Violence, we probably think of not physically hurting someone or their property; however, as we know, all things are energy and carry energetic vibrations, including our thoughts. While I wasn’t outwardly violent, my thought world and occasionally my words could be considered violent. 

For example, when my self-esteem hit an all-time low, I found myself thinking thoughts like, “I hate my body. I’m ugly.” Words like “hideous,” “grotesque,” and “disgusting” were how I’d internally describe my physique. These thoughts were definitely violent towards myself. 

Our thoughts can also be violent toward others who anger us or hurt our feelings. We may lash out verbally, causing emotional pain and suffering, but even if we don’t say the words to someone’s face, the vibration of those violent words can have an energetic effect on both us and the person we’re saying them about. 

The Brain Bitch left unchecked may become violent without considering the consequences.

Truthfulness

Everyone tells a little white lie from time to time; others are habitual liars. Honesty is so important to me that I felt I had little area for improvement. 

Turns out our Brain Bitch often tells us lies that we believe and play on repeat until they feel like the truth. For most of my life I lived the lie of believing that I was not enough, would never be enough, wasn’t smart, pretty, or interesting, wasn’t wanted. I convinced myself that people didn’t like me, that playing small was humble, and that success – especially financial success – was selfish. 

Are there lies your Brain Bitch tells you that you believe? I encourage you to start speaking out against those lies instead of buying into them. Living a life of truth feels free and authentic. You deserve the truth.

Non-stealing

Sure, I’ve taken a bank pen or sampled a grape at the store before buying the bunch, but stealing has never been a temptation for me. So again, on the surface, Non-Stealing seemed like a non-issue. 

However, in the grander scheme, under the influence of my Brain Bitch I stole joy, peace, and potential from those I loved when I was pessimistic in the name of protecting them from hurt and disappointment and critical in the name of helping them become better, when I squashed their spirit in order to fit into some social norm or expectation. My Brain Bitch stole equanimity from me, and until I began to quiet her, I allowed her to continue to be the thief she often is.

Non-Excess

One of my greatest mental struggles is overthinking – definitely a form of excess. Sometimes it’s worrying but more often obsessing over life’s what-ifs, options, and scenarios. My Brain Bitch turns decision-making into an Olympic sport, sometimes paralyzing me. 

We can be excessive with materialism, thoughts, food, exercise, fears – anything we can take too far. It can be easy to spot and judge someone else when they appear to be living in excess, but often we excuse our own lack of restraint and overindulgence. An honest look at what you have too much of, what takes too much of your time, and which thoughts play on repeat and dominate your mind lets you simplify and clear out the excess, making room for spaciousness and balance.

Non-Possessiveness

Most of us possess material things, characteristics, jobs, relationships, and beliefs. All fine, but when we obsess about having or keeping them, we enter into an unhealthy relationship with them. 

There was a time I would’ve literally died for certain beliefs I held that have since changed for me. I’ve broken or misplaced items, changed my mind about matters, quit jobs and started new ones, lost friendships, and watched as all things enter and exit in time. To hang on too tightly brings only pain and suffering when the time comes for something or someone to move on. Even our most beloved on this earth will pass away, so the best way to enjoy life with whomever or whatever is to love it well, care for it for the time we have it, and allow it to be fluid and free.

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Take these Yamas and sit with them. Dig beyond the surface, dare to be brutally honest with yourself. Write your thoughts in your journal about how they apply to and affect you. 

Just like getting to know your Brain Bitch, the first step with the Yamas is awareness. If you find, like I did, areas you’d like to improve upon, that’s great, because once you have awareness, you have power. 

In the next post we’ll look at the Niyamas – Observances/Positive Duties:

·      Purity

·      Contentment

·      Self-Discipline

·      Self-Study

·      Surrender

Remember, my friends, this isn’t a one-and-done activity; this is the work of a lifetime. Stay the course. I’m here with you!