Self Observation - The Path to Healing

In the last post we discussed the first of the yogic 8-limb path, the Yamas. 

The principles seemed easy to digest, but when we looked below the surface, we saw there was much more to consider, including how our Brain Bitch can undermine even our best intentions. 

I hope you were able to sit in quiet reflection and consider how you’ll apply the Yamas in your life. 

In this post we’ll take a similar approach with the second limb, the Niyamas, which are considered Observances and Positive Duties. The Niyams lead us to a better relationship with ourselves and our Brain Bitch.

They are:

·      Purity

·      Contentment

·      Self-Discipline

·      Self-Study

·      Surrender

There are many ways to approach each of these Niyamas, and it’s well worth exploring expanded texts and ideas on the subject. Here I’ll narrow it down to one or two ways I work with. Let’s dive in.

Purity

What comes to mind when you hear the word “purity?” For me it’s the physical: eating well, cleanliness, making responsible choices with our bodies. However, it extends to the heart and mind as well: Harboring bitter feelings, judgment, and unforgiveness corrupt a pure heart. Negative, impure, or coarse thoughts playing on repeat cloud a pure mind. 

When the heart and mind are tainted, we can feel lost and like we’re walking around in a fog. Our decision-making can suffer and lead to feelings of guilt and shame. 

No one is perfect and pure, and that isn’t the expectation. Rather, when we become contaminated in body, heart, or mind, we cleanse ourselves through forgiveness, kindness, mindfulness, and self-care. 

Contentment

In a society inundated with advertisements and messages telling us to always want more, reminding us of what we don’t have, and comparing the haves and have-nots, how can we find contentment? I struggle with this often: My work isn’t as fulfilling as I’d like, my house isn’t as large as I’d prefer, I wish I looked like that other woman. If only I was smarter, prettier, wealthier. These thoughts of discontentment are fueled by our Brain Bitch.

Contentment starts with acceptance, grows with gratitude, and remains with non-attachment. Very few of us are truly content with ourselves, our circumstances, and others. This is not to say that we sit idly by and not try to improve our situations, just that we stay in the present with what is true now and accept it. 

Gratitude is a powerful practice to shift the mind from lack to equanimity. And non-attachment will lead us to a more contented life over time as we allow for possessions, experiences, titles, and even people to come and go throughout life, never hanging on too tightly or allowing the Brain Bitch to prop up our ego with anything outside of our Self.

Self-Discipline

I can already hear the guttural groans, but stay with me! Self-discipline doesn’t just mean making sure you don’t miss your daily workout or passing on dessert (again). Self-discipline is also about becoming more responsive and less reactive. 

Part of working with our Brain Bitch is noticing our thoughts, “taking every thought captive,” then running it through our internal truth checker, our spirit, before we speak or act. That means stopping for just a breath or two – but sometimes for hours or even days – and exercising self-discipline before reacting. 

While there are many examples of self-discipline, I feel that managing your mind and choosing to be reflective and responsive over impulsive and reactive is probably one of the most important acts of self-discipline for creating a happier, more peaceful life. Remember, responsiveness is from your heart where spirit resides, and reaction is from your head where your Brain Bitch runs wild. Which sounds better to you? 

Self-Study

This is my favorite part of Yoga, my favorite piece of the 8 Limbs, the catalyst for true healing and lasting transformation. 

We must commit to the work of self-study / self-observation to grow and evolve. As humans we’re unique in our ability to think about our thoughts, to wonder about our behaviors and our choices, and to inquire about our nature. We can literally sit within ourselves and be the witness, watching and learning. 

We enter into this world innocently, but from our first breath we’re molded and shaped by our experiences; most if not all of what we become is a projection of those experiences. But we’re not tied to our stories, we’re not bound by our personalities; we’re capable of change and worthy of choice. 

Self-study can be a painful process. It requires attention and effort to figure out who you really are at your core and to dismantle anything that doesn’t resonate with that. Should you choose to take the path of self-study, it can feel like tearing your walls down to the studs. But, oh, the beauty of the rebuilding process! You get to decide what comes back in and what gets sent to the curb as you rebuild into an authentic version of you.

Brain Bitch: How I Quiet My Inner Mean Girl is my story of that process, filled with tools to help you in your own journey. I’ll spend the rest of my life in constant self-study, and I’ll continue to heal, evolve, grow, and become the best version of myself in service to the higher good. 

I hope you’ll join me.

Surrender

Our ego, the Brain Bitch, wants to own the show. She’s scared to death to lose control. She likely will not go down without a fight, but surrendering your ego is what all of this is about. Careful – I didn’t say surrendering to your ego, I said surrendering your ego. 

That means letting your heart and spirit lead, and letting – and sometimes forcing – the ego to surrender. With time, when putting into place some of the practices we talked about in these last few blogs and working with tools provided in Brain Bitch, you’ll quiet your mind more easily, and your Brain Bitch will become more friendly and compliant. You may even begin to befriend her and work together to create a more fulfilled and beautiful life together.

Yoga is more than stretching on a mat. Yoga is a study of the Self and is a practice for life. It’s a roadmap to remembering who you really are and a lifeline that’s pulled many back to safety and set them on a new trajectory of a life filled with joy, peace, and love. 

Although these explanations were brief and truly incomplete, I do hope it encourages introspection and further inquiry.

Want to learn more about the Yamas and Niyamas and additional ways to consider them for yourself? I highly recommend the book The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele.